My Journey to You
Hi, I'm Lori, and if you're here, you're probably feeling a bit lost in motherhood, like you've somehow disappeared beneath the endless demands of caring for everyone else.
I get it, because I've been there too.
My path to becoming a certified professional coach wasn't what I expected, but perhaps the seeds were planted early. Growing up as an only child in central New Jersey with two loving parents who were also only children, I internalized early on that achievement was how you earned love and how your worth was defined, and that people-pleasing was how you stayed safe. My father, though caring and who fiercely loved me, was strict and old-fashioned. He was the type who would question why I didn't get the extra credit questions right on a test where I'd scored 100%. It took me years to understand this was his way of showing his love by pushing me to be my best, but it shaped my perfectionist tendencies from a young age.
True to form, I became the straight-A student throughout elementary, middle, and high school, who graduated with honors from Rutgers University, where I studied Sociology and Psychology (I've always been fascinated by people and the systems we operate within). After college, for 15 years, I had what most people would consider a successful HR career. I was the achiever who thought doing everything "perfectly" would guarantee success in all areas of my life, including a smooth journey into motherhood.
Then my first daughter arrived.
What should have been the happiest moment of my life quickly became one of the most traumatic. My daughter was born via c-section with an undiagnosed Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH), requiring a delicate, complex surgery at just one week old. While she fought for her life in the NICU, I developed postpartum preeclampsia and an infection at my c-section incision site and had to be re-hospitalized. Those first weeks were a whirlwind of fear, guilt, shame, and the crushing realization that nothing had prepared me for this version of motherhood.
I felt robbed of the "fairy tale births" I assumed everyone else was having.
I didn't get to hold my baby until she was 9 days old.
We never got to do skin to skin bonding when she was born.
I had never even heard of congenital diaphragmatic hernia before, and I had no idea what her diagnosis would mean for her and for us as a family.
And I was completely overwhelmed by all the information and prognoses I was learning through my online research.
Luckily, our daughter had the best possible case of CDH, and she rapidly healed and hit her breathing and feeding milestones quickly after her surgery. She was discharged from the NICU at just 3 weeks old. She was a true warrior and is completely healed, healthy, and amazing today!
Even after we all came home healthy from the hospital, the challenges persisted:
I felt like my body had failed me at every turn: from the pregnancy hypertension I had developed in my third trimester that led to my induction at 39 weeks, to not being able to dilate past 5 centimeters after 15 hours of labor even after induction interventions like a Foley bulb placement and a ton of Pitocin, to then needing a c-section because my body wasn't able to give birth naturally, to then experiencing postpartum preeclampsia. And the constant reminder of my c-section incision site infection that caused my incision to open up and need daily gauze packing to allow my incision to heal from the inside out. Thank god for my hero of a husband who did the gauze packing for me multiple times a day for almost 2 months until the incision fully closed.
It didn't stop there. I struggled with breastfeeding and pumping around the clock while trying to allow my body to heal from all that it had been through. And ultimately, I had to make the excruciating decision to stop breastfeeding at just 2 months postpartum both for my physical and mental well-being and because I wasn't producing enough milk.
And, of course, I developed postpartum anxiety given the trauma I endured. I was terrified to leave the house with my fragile baby, I went to bed and woke up anxious every day, and I constantly compared my messy reality to other moms who seemed to have it all figured out. My self-confidence and self-worth had completely disappeared, and I sought therapy to overcome my postpartum anxiety.
When I returned to work after my first daughter turned one year old, I thought I'd found my balance. But then the pandemic hit, my beloved father passed away, and everything I thought I knew about myself crumbled. My grief was all-consuming at times, and I felt like my world had been flipped upside down. While I loved the team that I managed, my priorities had shifted, and I was feeling out of alignment with the work I was doing, in addition to dealing with a series of work and personal challenges beyond the loss of my father. So after over a year and a half back in HR, I made the decision to leave my HR career in the interest of my mental and physical health, my family, and even my team.
A little over a month after leaving my HR career, I found out I was pregnant with my second daughter. I was full of fear after all that I had been through since my first pregnancy. However, thankfully, the pregnancy went fairly smoothly even though I did develop gestational diabetes this time. My gestational diabetes was well managed, and I gave birth via a scheduled c-section to a 100% healthy baby girl. And this time around I had no physical postpartum complications. Unfortunately though, soon after my second daughter was born, I hit rock bottom with postpartum depression, even having thoughts of suicide. Somehow I mustered the strength to reach out to The Motherhood Center of New York and enrolled myself in their Day Program for Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs). This program quite literally saved my life.
Through intensive treatment in this PMAD program, I began to learn that I needed to release my perfectionism and embrace being a "good enough" mother. More importantly, I realized that I needed to rediscover who I was beyond my role as a mom.
It was in that darkness that I discovered something powerful: my depression was about losing myself completely in motherhood and feeling trapped without purpose.
*I implore you or your loved ones to seek treatment if you believe you are or a loved one is experiencing a PMAD. Treatment works. You WILL get better. And you're not alone.*
After graduating from the program, I explored various career options but couldn't find the right fit - something that would bring me joy, align with my values, and provide good income with flexibility.
Then, about a year and a half ago, everything changed during a conversation with my long-time friend, Pam. I'd always admired her intelligence, genuine care for others, and incredible bravery in completely reinventing her life. She packed herself up and moved across the country from NYC to Seattle, realizing that New York City was no longer serving her. After a few years settled in Seattle, she decided to leave her successful and very stable corporate tax career to pursue one of her passions and enrolled in an interior design program, and is now officially an interior designer and loving what she does everyday. I was so inspired by her journey. I had shared with Pam that I wanted to help other moms, either directly or through providing a service for their kids. So when Pam suggested during that phone call that she thought I'd make a great therapist, I was intrigued (after all, I had always been enthralled by psychology and sociology and helping others, so it seemed like a great option). So I did some research, but I quickly realized the 3+ years of schooling and the cost to become a licensed therapist wasn't feasible with young children.
But that conversation was the catalyst.
I began to dig deeper to try to see if there was another way I could help moms using my strengths as a highly-skilled and deeply curious listener, someone with relationship and rapport building skills and who genuinely values building deep connections with people, as well as my skills in helping others to heal, grow, and learn.
Then, on a beautiful, abnormally warm late October day, I was out in my backyard with my dog, Gracie (pictured above), taking in the fresh air while talking to my late father (as I often do because I believe his soul is still with me). My dad was always the person I went to when I needed help with school or work, and I had been asking him for months to please help me figure out my career and purpose, begging sometimes, to give me signs that would lead me in the right direction.
And out of nowhere, I had an epiphany: coaching was my calling! I couldn't believe it had taken me so long to realize it. I had ALWAYS loved coaching employees, managers, and executives during my HR career. I would even often extend coaching meetings because I truly loved helping people to realize their full potential, to grow, and to see new perspectives. It was the most rewarding part of my work. And in this moment of absolute clarity that I had been hoping, praying, begging for, all of a sudden a beautiful monarch butterfly flew right in front of me. Monarch butterflies have always been my main sign that my dad, my grandma, and even my beloved first dog are still with me or trying to tell me something. I knew in that moment, that butterfly was sent by my dad, and he was celebrating with me that I had finally figured it out. That was a moment in my life that I will never forget. It was the moment that flipped my world right side up again.
I decided to name my coaching business Monarch Motherhood Coaching for two reasons:
1) Because "Monarch" refers to butterflies which are symbols of the journey of transformation, rebirth, and personal growth. Butterflies also symbolize freedom, and joy. And their metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly represents the act of letting go of old habits, beliefs, and thoughts in order to embrace a new phase of life anchored by new habits, beliefs, thoughts, and actions. This is exactly what I help mothers do.
2) Because I had to acknowledge my dad and the symbol I’ve held so close to my heart and soul all these years for guiding me to find my true purpose.
Here's what I know for certain:
You don't have to lose yourself to be a great mom. You don't have to choose between nurturing your family and nurturing your dreams. You can do both! And you definitely don't have to figure it all out alone.
I’ve been through many challenges during my motherhood journey, and I’ve figured out how to overcome them. And now I’ve honed my coaching skills even further through my professional coaching certification, and I’m ready and excited to help other mothers feeling like I did after my daughters were born: lost, uncertain of your identity beyond being a mother, lacking self-confidence and self-esteem because society is telling you no matter how much you do, it’s never good enough, that being a mother comes naturally and should be something every woman strives to be, and that you should love every second of it and somehow not feel guilty and burnt-out, all while you're left completely unsupported by this same society in meeting all of these expectations.
I’ve created a framework for working through the most common challenges in motherhood that can be customized to each mother’s specific circumstances, whether you’re a brand new mom feeling overwhelmed, a mom managing toddler chaos, a step mom, a tween/teen mom, a mom staring at an empty nest wondering "what now?", a neurodivergent mom (I’m one too! I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 20s so I have a lot of perspectives and tools to share if you’re a fellow ADHD or neurodivergent mom), a widowed mom, a mom to neurodivergent children, a single mom, a divorced mom, and every beautiful variation of motherhood in between. Because while some of us face this identity challenge/lost sense of self early in our motherhood journeys, many of us experience it at different points in our journeys too. And my coaching framework works for any type of mom at any stage in her motherhood journey.
My approach combines 15 years of HR expertise, my studies in sociology and psychology, my in-depth professional coach training where I earned my certification through a Level 2 International Coaching Federation (ICF) accredited program, and most importantly, the real-world experience of rebuilding my identity as both a mom and an individual after feeling completely lost.
Ready to Reclaim Yourself?
If you're still with me and thinking "She gets it," then you're in the right place.
You deserve to feel confident in who you are, to pursue your dreams without guilt, and to model for your children what it looks like when a mom honors both her role as a mother and her identity as an individual.
I've walked this path from lost to found, from burnt-out to energized, from invisible to empowered. Now I'm here to guide you through your own transformation.
Your next steps are simple:
1) Book a free consultation call where we'll explore your specific challenges and agree on a plan for your transformation.
2) Join my email newsletter for insights, stories, strategies that work, and encouragement from someone who truly gets the motherhood struggle.
3) Follow me on Instagram and/or Facebook for reminders that you're not alone in this journey.
Ready to spread your wings?
Your transformation starts with one conversation.
Monarch Motherhood Coaching LLC guides burnt-out working and stay-at-home moms back to themselves by helping them to build confidence, create space for their own needs, and pursue their dreams guilt-free.
Get In Touch
Email Address:
hello@monarchmotherhoodcoaching.com
Mailing Address:
Monarch Motherhood Coaching LLC
28 Spring Street, Unit 162
Princeton, NJ 08542
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